Quick answer: Parenting with arthritis is easier with planning: talk to your rheumatology team before trying for a baby, bring your baby up to you rather than bending, change and bathe at waist height, and have a flare plan with people who can help. In England you can ask your council for a needs assessment, which considers caring for a child, and request flexible working from day one at work.
Checked on 10 October 2026 against NHS information on methotrexate, pregnancy and breastfeeding, young carers' rights and household equipment, the Care and Support (Eligibility Criteria) Regulations 2015 (England), and GOV.UK guidance on flexible working and parental leave.
Parenting is physically demanding for anyone. With arthritis, lifting a baby, getting down on the floor to play, the school run or a sleepless night can all take a real toll on your joints and energy. Many parents with arthritis also carry guilt about what they cannot do. This guide is about practical ways to make family life easier, the support you are entitled to, and how to look after yourself as well as your children. Every family is different, so take what is useful and leave the rest.
Planning a family
If you are thinking about having a baby, talk to your rheumatology team or GP before you stop contraception. Some arthritis medicines need to be changed in advance. For example, the NHS says methotrexate is not recommended in pregnancy because it can cause birth defects, and your doctor will discuss whether you need to switch to a different medicine before stopping contraception. Methotrexate may also affect fertility in both men and women.
If you become pregnant while taking a medicine, do not stop it suddenly. Contact your doctor as soon as possible. Our guide to arthritis and pregnancy explains what to discuss with your team.
The early months
Feeding
- Use pillows or a feeding cushion to bring your baby up to you, rather than leaning forward.
- Sit in a supportive chair with arms, and have everything you need within reach.
- If you are breastfeeding and taking medicines, check with your doctor, midwife or health visitor. For example, the NHS says it may be possible to breastfeed on methotrexate at 25mg a week or less, but you must not breastfeed for 24 hours after taking it.
- If bottle feeding, lightweight bottles with easy-grip handles, and a kettle tipper, can help. Making up feeds in a way that avoids lifting a full kettle reduces strain and spills.
Lifting and carrying
- Bend your knees, keep your back straight and hold your baby close to your body.
- Use your forearms and whole hands rather than gripping with your fingers.
- Avoid lifting from the floor where you can. Choose a cot with a height-adjustable base or a drop side, and a changing area at waist height.
- Slings and carriers can reduce the load on your hands and wrists, but some put strain on shoulders and backs. Try before you buy, and follow safe sling guidance.
- Lightweight prams, pushchairs and car seats can make a real difference. Check how easy the fold, brakes and harness clips are to use with sore hands.
Changing and bathing
- Change your baby on a surface at waist height, or kneel on a cushion at the bed if that suits you better.
- Choose clothes with poppers on the front or zips rather than lots of small buttons.
- Bath supports or seats can help. The NHS lists chairs to help support children in the bath among equipment that can make life easier.
- Use a jug to fill and empty a baby bath, rather than lifting it full.
Our guide to parenting hacks for babies and toddlers has more ideas.
Choosing baby equipment: questions to ask in the shop
Before you buy, try equipment in person if you can and ask yourself:
- Can I fold and unfold the pushchair with one movement, without strong gripping or pinching?
- Is it light enough for me to lift into the car boot?
- Can I work the brakes with my foot, and the harness buckles with sore fingers?
- Does the cot side lower easily, and is the mattress base adjustable?
- Is the car seat a type I can fit and release without twisting, such as one on a rotating base?
- Is the changing unit at a comfortable height for me?
- Are bottles and cups easy to open, fill and clean?
Second-hand and borrowed equipment can let you try things before committing. Always check that safety equipment, especially car seats, is suitable and has not been damaged.
Toddlers and young children
- Teach climbing. Encourage your child to climb onto a step or sofa so you can pick them up from a higher level, or climb into the car seat themselves.
- Play at your level. Use a table, sofa or bed for play, rather than the floor.
- Choose low-effort games: reading, puzzles, drawing, building, role play with you as the "customer" sitting down.
- Use reins or a wrist link carefully if you cannot run after a toddler, and choose safe, enclosed play areas.
- Sit to dress them, with your child standing on a step or bed.
School-age children
- Prepare the night before: uniforms, bags and lunches.
- Share the school run with other parents, or use walking buses or breakfast clubs if available.
- Let children do age-appropriate tasks, such as dressing themselves, packing bags or simple cooking. This builds independence and is not the same as making them carers.
- Talk to school if you need flexibility, for example during a flare.
See our guide to surviving the school run for detailed tips.
Teenagers
Teenagers can understand more about arthritis and may be keen to help. They also need space to be teenagers. Agree fair household jobs that you would expect of any teenager, and avoid relying on them for personal care or emotional support that should come from adults or services.
Talking to children about your arthritis
Children often notice more than adults think. Simple, honest explanations suited to their age can reduce worry:
- Use simple words: "My joints get sore and stiff, and some days I need to rest more."
- Reassure them that it is not their fault and it is not catching.
- Tell them what will happen on bad days, such as who will help with the school run.
- Let them ask questions, and come back to the conversation over time.
Our guide to talking to children about your arthritis has age-by-age ideas.
Planning for flares
Flares are often unpredictable. A simple flare plan can make them less stressful:
- A list of people who can help with lifts, childcare or meals at short notice.
- Freezer meals for days when cooking is too much.
- Quiet activities to keep children busy, such as audiobooks, colouring or a film.
- A plan with your partner or co-parent about who does what.
- Your rheumatology advice line number, if you have one, so you can get help early.
Accept that some days will be "good enough" rather than perfect. Children benefit most from feeling loved and safe, not from a parent doing everything.
Managing energy and sleep
Broken sleep and fatigue are hard with or without arthritis. Pacing, sharing night feeds where possible, resting when your baby or child sleeps, and asking for help early can all help. Our guide to pacing and energy management explains practical techniques.
Support you may be entitled to
A needs assessment from your council
In England, the Care and Support (Eligibility Criteria) Regulations 2015 list "carrying out any caring responsibilities the adult has for a child" as one of the outcomes councils consider when deciding whether you are eligible for care and support. If arthritis makes looking after your children difficult, ask your council's adult social care team for a needs assessment. Equipment and small adaptations can also be provided free if you are assessed as needing them. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own social care systems, so contact your council or health and social care trust.
Young carers
The NHS says all disabled adults are entitled to support from their local council depending on their needs, so they should not have to rely on their children to care for them. If your child does help you a lot, your council must organise a young carer's assessment if you or your child ask for one. It looks at whether caring is appropriate, and at your child's education, leisure and wishes.
Work
GOV.UK says all employees have the legal right to request flexible working from their first day in a job, and employers must deal with requests reasonably. Eligible employees can also take unpaid parental leave to look after their child's welfare. Our working with arthritis guide covers reasonable adjustments and your rights.
Health visitors and your health team
Your midwife and health visitor can advise on feeding, equipment and practical tips. Tell them about your arthritis early. Your GP or specialist team can refer you to an occupational therapist for advice on equipment and techniques for childcare tasks.
Looking after your own wellbeing
It is common to feel frustrated, guilty or low when arthritis limits what you can do as a parent. You are not alone, and these feelings are not a sign that you are failing. Talking to your partner, friends, other parents or your GP can help. If low mood or anxiety are affecting your daily life, ask your GP about support, or refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies in England.
Partners and co-parents
Share the physical jobs, such as lifting, bathing and carrying shopping, in a way that feels fair to both of you, and agree in advance what happens during a flare. It can help to plan regular time together that does not revolve around arthritis or childcare.
Days out and holidays
- Choose places with seating, level paths, cafes and accessible toilets.
- Take a lightweight folding seat or stick if you need to rest while children play.
- Plan one main outing a day with quiet time afterwards.
- Use a Blue Badge if you have one, and check whether attractions offer carer or access tickets.
- Bring another adult on busier days if you can.
If you are a single parent
Parenting alone with arthritis can be especially tiring, because there is no one to hand over to during a flare. Build your support network before you need it: friends, family, neighbours or other parents who could help at short notice. Ask your council about a needs assessment, and check whether you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to, using a free benefits calculator or an advice service such as Citizens Advice. Your health visitor or school may know of local family support services.
If your child has arthritis
This guide is for parents who have arthritis themselves. If your child has been diagnosed with juvenile idiopathic arthritis (JIA), they should be cared for by a specialist paediatric rheumatology team, who can advise on treatment, school and support for the whole family.
When to get medical help
Contact your rheumatology team or GP if your arthritis is getting worse, you are planning a pregnancy, you are pregnant or breastfeeding and taking arthritis medicines, or you are struggling to cope. Get same-day advice from your GP or NHS 111 if you have a hot, swollen, very painful joint with a fever, or signs of infection while taking immune-suppressing medicines. If you are in crisis or feel unable to keep yourself or your children safe, call 999 or go to A&E, or contact NHS 111 for urgent mental health help.
Frequently asked questions
Can I have children if I have arthritis?
Many people with arthritis have children. Talk to your rheumatology team before trying, as some medicines need to be changed in advance.
Can I breastfeed while taking arthritis medicines?
It depends on the medicine and dose. Ask your doctor, midwife or health visitor. For methotrexate, the NHS says it may be possible at 25mg a week or less, with a 24-hour gap after each dose.
How do I lift my baby with sore wrists?
Use your forearms and whole hands, keep your baby close, bend your knees and avoid lifting from the floor. An occupational therapist can advise.
Can I get help from social services as a parent with arthritis?
Yes, you can ask for a needs assessment. In England, caring for a child is one of the outcomes councils consider when deciding eligibility.
Is it wrong to let my children help me?
No. Age-appropriate household jobs are good for children. But they should not be doing a lot of caring. If they are, your council must offer a young carer's assessment if you ask.
Can I ask my employer for flexible working?
Yes. GOV.UK says all employees can request flexible working from their first day in a job.
What baby equipment helps most with arthritis?
A height-adjustable cot, a waist-height changing area, a lightweight pushchair with an easy fold, and a feeding cushion are often the most useful. Try equipment in a shop before you buy if you can.
Sources and further reading
- NHS: Pregnancy, breastfeeding and fertility while taking methotrexate
- NHS: Being a young carer – your rights
- NHS: Household gadgets and equipment to make life easier
- legislation.gov.uk: The Care and Support (Eligibility Criteria) Regulations 2015, regulation 2
- GOV.UK: Flexible working
- GOV.UK: Unpaid parental leave
Educational information for people in the United Kingdom, not personal medical, legal or financial advice. NHS processes, rules and prices change, so check the linked official sources and speak to your GP, specialist team or pharmacist about your own situation. Charity no. 1218461. Pending clinical review. If you feel very unwell, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent advice, contact NHS 111.
Continue with related help
- Caring for a parent with arthritis — the other side of family care
- Arthritis and mental health — looking after your mind
- Cooking with arthritis — easier family meals
- Dating with arthritis — relationships and confidence