Quick answer: Help your parent stay independent by asking what they want, offering specific help and making tasks easier. Ask the council for a free needs assessment for them and a carer's assessment for you. Check Attendance Allowance for them and Carer's Allowance for you (Pension Age Disability Payment and Carer Support Payment in Scotland), and consider a lasting power of attorney early.
Checked on 10 October 2026 against GOV.UK pages on Carer's Allowance, Attendance Allowance, carer's leave and lasting power of attorney, mygov.scot pages on Carer Support Payment and Pension Age Disability Payment, and NHS guidance on carer's assessments and falls. Benefit rates are those shown on GOV.UK and mygov.scot on that date and usually change each April.
Watching a parent struggle with arthritis can be hard, and helping them can feel like a second job alongside work, children and your own health. Many people do not even think of themselves as carers. If you help a parent with shopping, appointments, medicines, cooking or personal care, you are a carer, and there is support for you as well as for them. This guide covers how to help well, the practical and financial support available across the UK, and how to look after yourself.
Are you a carer?
The NHS says you are a carer if you regularly look after someone because they are ill, older or disabled, including family members. That includes helping with washing, dressing or taking medicines; getting out and about and travelling to appointments; shopping, cleaning and laundry; paying bills and organising finances; and emotional support, such as keeping someone company or watching over them. Recognising yourself as a carer is the first step to getting help.
Helping without taking over
Most older people want to stay as independent as possible. Helping well often means doing with rather than doing for:
- Ask what help they want, rather than assuming. Arthritis varies from day to day, so the answer may change.
- Offer specific help: "I'm going to the shops on Thursday, what can I get?" is easier to accept than "let me know if you need anything".
- Respect their choices, even when you would do things differently, as long as they have the capacity to decide.
- Encourage activity. Exercise is a core treatment for osteoarthritis in NICE guidance. Gentle walks together or encouraging physiotherapy exercises can help more than doing everything for them.
- Make tasks easier rather than taking them over, for example with equipment or by reorganising the kitchen.
Our guide on how to help without taking over explores this in more depth.
Understanding their arthritis
- Find out which type of arthritis they have, as osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis and gout are managed differently.
- Learn what a flare looks like for them, and what helps.
- Know their medicines, what each is for, and any monitoring blood tests they need.
- With their permission, go to appointments with them and help them ask questions. Our list of questions to ask a consultant can help.
- Remember that pain, fatigue and stiffness are often invisible. If your parent says they cannot do something today, believe them.
Helping with medicines
- Ask the pharmacist about easy-open lids, large-print labels or a medicines review if your parent takes several medicines.
- Pill organisers or pharmacy-filled compliance aids may help some people, but are not suitable for every medicine. Ask the pharmacist first.
- Keep an up-to-date medicines list, including over-the-counter medicines and supplements.
- Watch for side effects, and for signs of infection if they take immune-suppressing medicines.
Our guide to pill organisers for arthritic hands has more detail.
Making the home safer and easier
The NHS says falls are more likely if you are older or have mobility problems. To help prevent falls, the NHS suggests:
- reducing clutter and trip hazards such as loose wires and rugs
- speaking to a GP or pharmacist if medicines could be affecting balance
- checking for problems such as muscle weakness, weak bones or eyesight problems
- making home adaptations where needed
The NHS also says anyone can ask the local council for a free care needs assessment, which can look at changes to make a home safer. In England, the council should pay for each adaptation that costs less than £1,000, such as grab rails, if your parent is assessed as needing it. Larger changes may be covered by a Disabled Facilities Grant.
Agree a plan for what happens if your parent falls. The NHS says to call 999 if someone has fallen and may have injured their head, back, neck or hip, or cannot get up. Keep them comfortable and warm, and do not try to lift them yourself. A personal alarm can give peace of mind if they live alone.
Assessments: for them and for you
A needs assessment for your parent
Your parent can ask their local council's adult social services for a free needs assessment. It looks at what they struggle with and whether they are eligible for care and support, equipment or adaptations.
A carer's assessment for you
The NHS says a carer's assessment is free and anyone over 18 can ask for one. It is separate from your parent's needs assessment, but you can ask for both to be done at the same time. It might recommend things like a break from caring, help with transport, help with housework or gardening, training on lifting safely, or putting you in touch with support groups. Contact adult social services at your parent's local council.
Our guide to carer's assessments explains how to prepare.
Financial support
For your parent
- Attendance Allowance (England, Wales and Northern Ireland): GOV.UK says it helps with extra costs if someone has reached State Pension age and has a disability or health condition severe enough that they need someone to help look after them. On the date we checked, it was £76.70 or £114.60 a week depending on care needs. It is not for mobility needs, and your parent does not need to have a carer to claim.
- Pension Age Disability Payment (Scotland): mygov.scot says this is replacing Attendance Allowance in Scotland, at the same lower and higher rates on the date we checked, and is not means-tested.
- Other help: GOV.UK says getting Attendance Allowance could mean extra Pension Credit, Housing Benefit or Council Tax Reduction.
For you
- Carer's Allowance (England, Wales and Northern Ireland): GOV.UK says you could get £86.45 a week if you care for someone for at least 35 hours a week and they get a qualifying benefit, such as Attendance Allowance or the daily living component of PIP. You must be 16 or over, not in full-time education, and earning no more than £204 a week after tax, National Insurance and expenses. You do not have to live with or be related to the person.
- Carer Support Payment (Scotland): mygov.scot says this replaces Carer's Allowance in Scotland, paying up to £86.45 a week, with an automatic Scottish Carer Supplement on top.
- National Insurance credits: GOV.UK says you automatically get these for each week you get Carer's Allowance.
Carer's Allowance can affect other benefits for you and your parent, so get advice before claiming. Free, independent advice is available from Citizens Advice, Carers UK and the Age UK Advice Line (0800 678 1602, free, 8am to 7pm every day). Our guide to Carer's Allowance has more detail.
Caring and working
GOV.UK says employees in England, Scotland and Wales are entitled to up to one week of unpaid carer's leave every 12 months to give or arrange care for a dependant, including someone with care needs because of old age, from their first day with an employer. You can take it as a whole week or as individual days or half days. All employees can also request flexible working from their first day. Talk to your employer early about what would help.
Planning ahead: lasting power of attorney
A lasting power of attorney (LPA) lets your parent appoint people they trust to make decisions for them if they lose mental capacity in the future. GOV.UK says there are two types in England and Wales: health and welfare, and property and financial affairs. Your parent must have mental capacity when they make it. Registering costs £92 unless they qualify for a reduction or exemption, and takes 8 to 10 weeks if there are no mistakes. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own systems for powers of attorney.
It is easier to have these conversations early, while your parent is well. Start gently, and focus on what they would want.
Getting the most from appointments together
If your parent would like you to come to GP or hospital appointments, a little preparation helps:
- Agree beforehand what they want to discuss, and what they would like you to do: take notes, ask questions or simply be there.
- Bring an up-to-date list of medicines and any changes in symptoms, sleep, falls or mood.
- Let your parent speak first. Speak to them, not about them.
- Ask for a summary of the plan before you leave, and who to contact if things change.
Health professionals can only share information with you if your parent agrees, or if you have legal authority such as a health and welfare LPA. Ask the GP surgery how to record your parent's consent.
Difficult conversations
At some point you may need to talk about driving, moving house, extra care at home or a care home. These conversations go better when they are early, unhurried and led by your parent's wishes. Focus on what they want to keep doing and what would make that possible, rather than what they can no longer do. Involve other family members so decisions are shared, and remember that an adult with capacity has the right to make choices you disagree with.
Taking breaks and avoiding burnout
Caring can be exhausting, especially alongside work and family. Signs you need more support include constant tiredness, feeling resentful or low, poor sleep, or neglecting your own health. Ways to get a break include:
- asking family members to share specific tasks
- asking the council about respite care through a carer's assessment
- day centres, befriending services or sitting services in your parent's area
- carer support groups, online or in person
Tell your own GP you are a carer. They may be able to offer health checks, flexible appointments or point you to local support. If your mood is low, talk to your GP or, in England, refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies.
Caring from a distance
- Set up regular calls or video chats at agreed times.
- With your parent's permission, ask their GP surgery to record you as a contact.
- Arrange online shopping and repeat prescription deliveries.
- Get to know neighbours or friends who could check in.
- Ask about telecare, such as a personal alarm, through the council.
Differences across the UK
- England: needs and carer's assessments under the Care Act, through your council.
- Scotland: Carer Support Payment and Pension Age Disability Payment from Social Security Scotland; adult carer support plans through councils.
- Wales: Carer's Allowance and Attendance Allowance from DWP; carer's assessments through councils.
- Northern Ireland: Carer's Allowance and Attendance Allowance through nidirect; carer's assessments through your health and social care trust.
When to get medical help
Contact your parent's GP if their pain or mobility is getting worse, they are struggling with medicines, they have had a fall or are worried about falling, or you notice confusion or low mood. Get same-day advice from NHS 111 or the GP if they have a hot, swollen, very painful joint with a fever, or signs of infection while on immune-suppressing medicines. Call 999 if they cannot get up after a fall, may have injured their head, back, neck or hip, or have chest pain, breathing problems or signs of a stroke.
Frequently asked questions
Can I get paid for caring for my parent?
You may be able to get Carer's Allowance (or Carer Support Payment in Scotland) if you care for at least 35 hours a week, your parent gets a qualifying benefit, and you meet the earnings and other rules.
What is a carer's assessment?
A free assessment from the council to see what support might help you as a carer. Anyone over 18 can ask for one.
What benefits can my parent get for arthritis?
If they are State Pension age or older and need help with personal care, Attendance Allowance (or Pension Age Disability Payment in Scotland) may help.
Can I take time off work to care for my parent?
In England, Scotland and Wales, employees can take up to one week of unpaid carer's leave a year from day one, and can request flexible working.
When should we arrange a lasting power of attorney?
While your parent has mental capacity to make one. It is often easier to do this early.
Who can I call for advice?
The Age UK Advice Line is free on 0800 678 1602, 8am to 7pm, every day. Citizens Advice and Carers UK can also help.
Sources and further reading
- GOV.UK: Carer's Allowance
- GOV.UK: Carer's Allowance – eligibility
- GOV.UK: Attendance Allowance
- mygov.scot: Carer Support Payment
- mygov.scot: Pension Age Disability Payment
- GOV.UK: Unpaid carer's leave
- GOV.UK: Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney
- NHS: Carer's assessments
- NHS: Falls
- NHS: Home adaptations
- Age UK Advice Line
Educational information for people in the United Kingdom, not personal medical, legal or financial advice. NHS processes, rules and prices change, so check the linked official sources and speak to your GP, specialist team or pharmacist about your own situation. Charity no. 1218461. If you feel very unwell, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent advice, contact NHS 111.
Continue with related help
- Respite care for carers — taking a break
- Carer burnout — spotting the signs
- Benefits guide — PIP and more
- Parenting with arthritis — family life